How to Reset a Struggling Team
Good News: You’re the Problem (And You Can Fix It!)
Long Story Short: If you lead a team that is in need of a reset, chances are something you are doing or not doing is causing the problem. AND, if you’re the problem, you’re also the solution! Don’t have time to read this article? Leah Peters’ Reset Survey & Pre-Meeting Guide can help you get started.
The time my company almost blew up
Libby here: I spent years watching my team struggle before I understood the pattern.
In the early days of Whetstone, I made the same mistake every new CEO makes when they’re trying to get their little rocketship off the ground: I sold complicated features and reports that didn’t exist yet in our application. I promised the moon to get contracts signed, and then burnt out my team as we worked nights and weekends and holidays to deliver it.
Once I stopped making these promises, I then made the next most common new leader mistake: becoming the “Good Idea Fairy.” I walked into Monday meetings bursting with ideas — new initiatives, better tactics, exciting culture-building ideas. Weak smiles barely concealed the exasperation my Leadership Team was feeling when I shared my brilliant plans. I didn’t understand: Why aren't they as excited as I am? Don’t they see the vision?!
Then I made the worst mistake all leaders make — new and veteran alike — I avoided a difficult conversation that I very clearly needed to have for months. One team member was acting way outside of our values, making everyone miserable. I told myself I was being patient, giving them time to course-correct. Really, I was hoping the problem would solve itself.
It didn't. It got worse. And by the time I finally took responsibility and made tough choices? Well, our tech stack was down, half the team was looking for other jobs, and our clients were losing confidence.
I finally saw the pattern: It was me. I was the problem.
Here's what took me too long to learn: When a team is struggling, it's always the leader's fault. Not because leaders are bad at their jobs — but because teams don't fall apart in a vacuum. Something the leader is doing (or not doing) created the conditions for things to go sideways.
Sometimes it's flooding them with priorities. Sometimes it's not being clear enough about what success looks like. Sometimes it's not holding people accountable. Whatever it is, it's always something.
And, in my experience, that something only ever gets resolved when you finally take responsibility for your role in it and do the work to reset the team.
The person who showed me how to reset with intention
“Here’s the punchline: when a team needs to be reset, the leader is always the problem.”
When Leah Peters dropped this truth bomb in our chat about team resets, I knew I was going to do whatever she told me to do.
Based on my years of mistake-making as a leader (see above), I knew this to be true, but I’d never seen anyone be brave enough to say it out loud. Leah has led teams professionally since she was 21 and I was so impressed by her candor about when things she’s gotten things right and when she’s gotten things wrong.
"The last leadership team I led as a principal was top notch. We worked so well together that even though most folks have moved on to new places, they’re still each other’s ‘professional bat phone,’” she shared proudly. “But my first couple years as a principal? I really struggled with managing and leading my leadership team."
What was the difference between these two teams?
"When my teams thrived, it was because I owned my role as the leader. I was unafraid to set clear expectations about how we were going to work together."
The Two Key Takeaways
Takeaway #1: Admit you’re the problem
If you’re a leader reading this, the first step is admitting you’re the problem. I won’t pretend that it’s easy to admit that you’re the problem as the leader. It’s painful to think about the things we get wrong, especially when those things negatively impact other people. AND… there is good news here! If YOU are the problem, YOU have the power to fix the problem.
Takeaway #2: Reset your team, don’t reinvent it.
When I make a mistake, I tend to be a “let’s change EVERYTHING” type of person — I want my team to know how sorry I am, and to set up systems so it doesn’t happen again. Leah has a different approach. “Team resets don't always require going super deep. Often the best resets are about the leader getting clearer and more consistent about addressing the micro-frictions that are causing the team’s dysfunction.”
Maybe admitting you’re the problem is easy for you. But if you’re feeling stuck here, an executive coach can be a great partner in working through it. Check out this article on When to Get a Coach or book a free call with one of Helia’s three favorite executive coaches: Leah Peters, Nancy Fournier, or Jess Skylar.
Leah’s Reset Process
If you’re a “Just give me the template I’m ready to get started” kind of person (aka Helia’s COO, Libby), here are some resources and a step-by-step that can help you get moving on your reset: Reset Survey & Pre-Meeting Guide and Reset Scripts.
Step 1: Look for signs your team needs a reset
Step 2: Gather info to pinpoint your team’s “microfrictions”
Step 3: Don’t wait until the “right time.” Do your Reset Meeting now.
Step 4: The Reset Meeting: Keep it simple.
Step 5: Do what you said you were going to do.
If you’re a “Tell me the magic behind each step that makes this work” kind of person (aka Helia’s Founder, Jess), read on for the good stuff.
Step 1: Look for signs your team needs a reset
Leah gave me clear signals to watch for:
The team isn't delivering. "If the team is not delivering on the stuff they need to deliver, something is probably awry."
Work is happening but at enormous cost. "If the team is consistently delivering, but it's causing enormous internal conflict – for example, ‘We're always hitting our board presentation for the quarter, but it's sending the entire team into total chaos for a week’ – that’s unsustainable."
You're having the same conversation on repeat. "You keep having the same conversations over and over. People keep either expressing similar frustrations or asking similar questions. When this would happen to me, I would hit a point where I’d think, ‘I can't have a different flavor of this conversation 50 more times!!’ That's when I knew, ‘Ohhhh, this is on me.’"
People are talking about each other, not to each other. This one hit home for me. "I knew something was off when people were bringing stuff to me about other people. It was never out of malice, but they were genuinely confused because one person wasn’t meeting expectations and I wasn’t doing anything about it. They weren’t sure if they misunderstood the expectations or if I expected them to respond differently"
If you see any of those signs, there’s a good chance your team will benefit from a reset.
Step 2: Gather info to pinpoint the micro-friction(s) driving discontent
Leah believes that micro-frictions, not major blow-ups, are what break teams.
"Everyone comes to work with schemas about what doing that work or being a part of a team looks like. One of the most dangerous things is to assume everyone on a team has the same schema."
She gave me an example: "What does it mean to be on time? If one person's schema is I'm on time if I'm walking into the room when the meeting starts and someone else's schema is Being on time means you're seated, all your stuff is out, you're 100% ready to go when the meeting starts, those are two really different ways of operating that over time start to create micro-moments of friction and broken trust.”
These micro-frictions add up. "It's really easy as a leader to be like, ‘Of course, everyone thinks XYZ is how things should be done.’ But in the absence of clear expectations, people get really frustrated."
Before ever running a Reset Meeting, Leah surveys a team to identify the top 2-3 micro-frictions driving discontent. Then, she meets with each individual 1:1 to go deeper on what they think the problem is and to set the stage for the upcoming Reset Meeting.
→ Grab Leah’s Reset Survey and Pre-Reset 1:1 Guide to use with your team or send to a colleague.
Step 3: Don't wait until the "right time." Do your Reset Meeting now.
The best time to reset your team is before it blows up. Of course, nobody knows when the explosion will happen.
"The most dangerous thing I have done as a leader and watched other leaders do is wait for the ‘right time’ to reset the team.” Leah has seen leaders wait until January to reset when it's November. They wait for restructuring. They wait for people to leave.
Why waiting doesn't work: "If you as the leader already know there's dysfunction that needs to be attended to, the day to day experience of your team is even worse than you realize. The little frictions might be outside of your awareness, but if the need for a reset is already all the way in your awareness, there are things you’re unaware of that are making your team miserable in big and small ways."
The cost of waiting is real: "You risk not only not hitting whatever goals you've set, but also that people become so fatigued or disillusioned that they leave. You get turnover that you probably didn't want."
Step 4: The Reset Meeting — Keep it simple
Leah’s advice? Keep it simple: Focus on the 1-2 highest-leverage microfrictions, and then clearly state what you’re going to do differently.
The most common mistake Leah sees leaders make is assuming that the Reset Meeting and the path forward are complicated. “Folks often assume a team reset means a deep excavation of values, purpose, history, etc. Sometimes that IS true, but most of the time it is not.”
Usually the best resets are as simple as, 'Hey y'all, I've been doing some reflecting. I observed [microfriction] and I realized I have an opportunity to be even clearer about what my expectations are. Here’s how I want us to move forward and here’s how you're going to see me moving differently.'"
This doesn’t have to be dramatic. “It’s not like, ‘You guys are doing a terrible job or I’m doing a terrible job.’ Just say what you saw and/or heard and what you’re going to do differently.”
→ For those times when the Reset Meeting is a bigger deal, Leah shared an example Reset Meeting Agenda she used to reset a team during a strategic planning retreat.
It’s important to note that “simple” does not mean “easy.” Leah’s clear-eyed about the fact that the hard work is actually delivering on the ‘here’s how you’re going to see me moving differently’ piece. “The reset isn’t complete when the meeting is over. The reset is complete when the leader consistently upholds the expectations they reset in the meeting.“
Why it works? Fixing micro-frictions rebuilds trust. "I often think that teams struggle because people are experiencing a lack of psychological safety from not knowing what to expect. And if you can create predictability and consistency on the 1-2 micro-frictions creating a lot of the pain on the team, it has this positive snowball effect of starting to rebuild trust with all of your micro follow-throughs. Every time you consistently uphold your expectations you make a little trust deposit in your team marble jar. And then you can add more stuff over time."
→ Getting the words right matters AND it can be hard. We put together these Reset Scripts so that you don’t have to start from a blank page.
Step 5: Do what you said you were going to do
After the team meeting, schedule individual follow-ups. "The most important thing is that you use your follow-up meetings to address the number one thing you’re going to focus on. Almost always this is, ‘I have not been holding people accountable. I have not been consistent.’ Inevitably it's always something you as a leader need to do differently."
What happens in follow-ups:
Close any loops left open from pre-work or the main meeting
Address if someone showed up "particularly well or particularly badly"
Give specific feedback on behavior that needs to change
Be specific about accountability: For someone perpetually late, Leah coached a leader to say: "Hey, we reset this expectation. Being on time to meetings means you are seated, all material is ready to go at the time the meeting starts. I know this has been a challenge. I'm confident now that the expectation is clear, you're going to meet it. But if you don't, what I'm going to do is restate the expectation and tell you that you're not meeting it. And I'm going to tell you verbally and then I'm going to send you an email."
The leader said they were uncomfortable saying that. Leah's response? "Yeah, it's going to be more uncomfortable if neither of you know what's going to happen."
The key is consistency: You have to actually follow through on the narrow commitments you made. If you said you'd create predictability around meeting structures, you have to do that. If you said you'd be clearer about expectations, you have to name when expectations aren't being met.
This is where most resets fail. The meeting happens, everyone feels good, and then the leader goes back to old patterns. The micro-frictions return. Trust erodes further.
Leah's point about the "marble jar trust deposits" is crucial here. Each time you do what you said you'd do, you're adding a marble. Each time you don't, you're taking one out. The reset only works if you're consistently adding marbles.
→ Need an accountability partner in this? That’s what executive coaches are. Check out this article on When to Get a Coach or check out Helia’s three favorite executive coaches: Leah Peters, Nancy Fournier, or Jess Skylar.
When to do this yourself vs. bring someone in
Everything I've shared here? You can do it. If you're willing to own your part, do the pre-work, and follow through on the commitments you make, this process will work.
You might want outside help if:
You're too close to see your own patterns — you know something's off but can't pinpoint what you're doing (or not doing) that's causing it
The team has factions — there are clusters or alliances and you're not sure how to navigate the politics of bringing everyone together
You've tried before and it didn't stick — you've had the "we need to reset" conversation but nothing actually changed
You need someone outside the dynamics — an outside facilitator can say things and hold boundaries that feel impossible when you're in the middle of it
The stakes feel high — you're worried about losing good people if you don't get this right
If you want help resetting your team
Leah Peters partners with leaders navigating transformation, turnaround, or transition. Her approach: identify the micro-frictions causing dysfunction, help the leader anchor the change, and focus on narrow commitments that rebuild trust through consistent follow-through.
She's a good fit if:
You know your team needs a reset but you're not sure where to start or what you're personally contributing to the dysfunction
People are talking about each other instead of to each other and you suspect you've missed opportunities to set clearer expectations
You keep having the same conversation over and over with different people and you're starting to realize this is systemic
You believe it's never too late to reset but you need someone outside the politics to help facilitate it
Your team is delivering but at enormous internal cost and you want to change that
You're tempted to change EVERYTHING when what you really need is to focus on the narrow things that are actually breaking trust
What working with her looks like:
Full team reset facilitation — Leah does the survey, pre-meetings, facilitates the team session, and supports your individual follow-ups
Coaching through a reset you're leading yourself — She helps you design the process, prepare for hard conversations, and hold yourself accountable to follow through
Dare to Lead™ facilitation — If your team needs to build skills around vulnerability, courage, and trust
What people say: "Leah helped me see that I was the bottleneck — not because I was bad at my job, but because I hadn't set clear boundaries about how we work. The reset she facilitated didn't fix everything overnight, but it gave us a foundation we could build on." — Director, education nonprofit
Ready to talk? → Book a free 30-minute call with Leah or email leah@leahcelestepeters.com with "Helia Connection" in the subject line.
Not sure Leah's the right fit? Book 30 minutes with Helia and we'll help you figure out who in our Collective might be.
What to take with you
Start here (free)
If you're about to reset your team:
Leah's Team Reset Survey Questions — The three questions she always asks, plus guidance on how to synthesize responses
Team Reset Scripts — Language for announcing the reset, anchoring your part in it, and holding boundaries in follow-ups
Recommended reading:
The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni — Focus on organizational health
Conversational Capacity by Craig Weber — Framework for "disciplined collaboration and conflict"
Conversations for Creating Star Performers by Shawn Kent Hayashi — For one-on-one coaching conversations
Molly Graham's writing at The Glue Club — Leah calls her "my favorite blogger"
Wes Kao's writing — For insights like "feedback is strategy, not self-expression"
When templates aren't enough
These resources will help you structure the reset. But the hard part — seeing your own patterns, navigating the politics, holding boundaries you've never held before, and actually following through on what you commit to — that's where most leaders get stuck.
If that's you: Book a free 30-minute call with Leah to figure out whether you need full facilitation support or coaching to lead it yourself.
Questions to sit with
What are the micro-frictions on your team that you've been assuming "everyone just knows" how to handle?
If you're honest, what's YOUR specific leadership gap contributing to team dysfunction — are you too decisive without input, not decisive enough, inconsistent with follow-through, or something else?
Are you having the same conversation with different people over and over? If so, what's the expectation or boundary you haven't set?
Who on your team is talking about other team members instead of to them — and have you missed an opportunity to set clearer boundaries about how feedback happens?
If you were to focus on ONE narrow thing to fix, what would create the most immediate relief for your team?
About the Contributor
Leah Peters realized that the leader is always the problem the hard way — through leading her own teams that struggled before they thrived. After nearly two decades as a mission-driven leader, including serving as Chief Academic Officer and stepping in as interim principal post-COVID, she now partners with leaders navigating transformation, turnaround, or transition.
More where this came from
Leah is one of dozens of practitioners in the Helia Collective — people we know personally who do this work every day across the social sector.
If resetting your team isn't your stuck point, we might know someone who can help with:
Building budgets that actually get used
Delegation that doesn't boomerang
Managing change without losing your best people
Hiring the right people in the first place
See who's in the Collective or tell us what you're working on and we'll point you toward the right person.
This article comes from a coffee chat with Leah Peters in November 2025 — and from my own years of watching teams struggle before I understood what I was doing to cause it.
Take what's helpful, leave what's not, and make it your own.
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