The Secret Sauce of Good Convenings
Summary:
You know that feeling when you leave a gathering thinking, "what was that even for?". Sebastian has a “secret sauce” to convenings that actually work: matching format to purpose, planning extensively so you can be present, and being honest about whether you're going deep with aligned folks or wide with diverse perspectives. There’s a formula to a good convening - it’s not rocket science but it’s also not accidental!
What’s in it for you:
You want practical ways to make your next convening actually move work forward
You’re curious about how to expand who is in the room, moving beyond hearing the same things from the same people
You're looking for simple approaches that balance connection with results
Helia's Perspective
I hired Sebastian to lead the Center for Lived Experience at Think of Us because I had fallen for how he looked at the world. There was a sense of possibility and an expansive imagination coupled with a deeply practical and pragmatic approach about what would actually work. I loved the combination.
I asked Sebastian for the chance to chat, and out of many prospective topics, hosting great convenings was his first choice. I found myself a bit skeptical—I'm not the biggest fan of convenings. If I'm being honest, I'm probably a curmudgeon on this topic. I think they're often a lot of work and a lot of money and rarely as effective as we think they're going to be!
Then, in our interview, Sebastian talked about how for every convening we need to make an intentional choice on whether we bring folks together that share the same perspective to align around strategies OR expand the tent with an eye towards how impactful and effective we might be together. And how we don't have to be in tension just to be in community. And how having hard + necessary convos and expanding perspective is both possible and necessary. And how convenings are beautiful and central AND there's a secret sauce to thinking about all of this that can make them really work.
So now, I'm honored to share! Relationships and human connections matter – and convenings can be a transformative time spent together, which I very much want for our world.
Sebastian’s Story
"My time planning convenings really did start with Freedman and the criminal justice funders forum," Sebastian told me. "We had all these traditional criminal justice funders who had long standing in the space... And then we also had this cohort of West Coast funders who are new to the space, maybe more tech oriented, who share a different approach to philanthropy."
What was fascinating were the diverse perspectives in the room. "There's religious conservatives who really believe in redemption. There are civil libertarians who believe in restricting the role of the government. The social justice oriented funders really believed in racial equity and solidarity. And so you have all these strange bedfellows, different perspectives, different approaches, different coasts."
The secret to his approach: "My first job was teaching. I was an elementary school teacher, and the first thing they tell you about teaching is you must backwards plan. You must have a strategy for where you want the kids to be in June. There is a discipline around convenings that needs to also be there – what does everyone need to leave the room understanding?"
Here are Sebastian's tips.
Convenings — not just for the birds!
What this Looks Like in Practice
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"Are you building tall to get to a thing? Or is it wide and everyone can kind of see themselves?"
Building tall = deepening with aligned stakeholders ("we all agree, now let's talk strategy") Building wide = broadening across perspectives ("let's learn and build relationships together")
The mismatch kills convenings. "I've seen bipartisan convenings where folks think, 'We're going to do strategy' and it's like, 'Well we don't agree on a bunch of things,' so that can easily devolve into infighting."
→ Use our Tall vs. Wide Decision Framework in the Convening Container Guide.
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Sebastian thinks about gathering formats as "containers" that hold different types of conversations. "Using the wrong container is like trying to store water in a colander—it just doesn't work."
He suggests three main formats that can be modified or combined for different purposes:
Salon Dinners (8-10 people) for ideation and alignment among influencers
Cocktail Events (25-35 people) for networking with less programming
Multi-Day Convenings (50-200+ people) for broader programming and participation
The key? Match the container to what you want to achieve.
→ Check out Sebastian’s Convening Container Guide at the end of this article for when to use each format.
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"I always think about Ina Garten. She says when you are hosting a dinner party, it's really important for you to be present in that moment and hosting. And so you have to have a meal that's going to allow you to do that."
Sebastian's approach:
Do the prep work so you can be nimble in the room
Plan for 80% of your time, leave 20% for emergence
Know what's on AND what's off the agenda
"The worst thing to have in a convening is an overprogrammed agenda. You need to be clear in your objectives, but you also have to provide that space in the room for really organic and authentic things to happen."
→ Use our Pre-Work and Preparation Checklist in the Convening Container Guide.
Secret Sauce & Takeaways
If there's one thing you should do, it's: Get crystal clear on your objectives before planning anything else. "I think it's really important to be clear about your goals and objectives and what you want to get out of your convening."
Common Pitfalls to Avoid:
Over-programming every minute
Using too many panels
Treating site visits as afterthoughts
Forgetting that logistics matter
What Makes This Work Well:
Matching format to your objectives
Doing pre-work so the time together can go deeper
Creating space for both structure and spontaneity
Planning for 80% of the time, leaving 20% for emergence
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Am I building "tall" (deepening with aligned folks) or "wide" (broadening perspectives)?
How do I want participants to feel when they leave the room?
What needs to stay OFF the agenda to maintain focus?
Who really needs to be in the room for this conversation to move forward?
Want to Try This?
Tools/Templates
Liberating Structures – 33 ways to inspire how to bring humans together
Use our Convening Container Guide – co-created with Sebastian!
Read/Learn More
The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
Ina Garten’s Entertaining Advice: there’s no better host than Ina, and her advice – keep it simple, plan meticulously, be present – is right in every context!
Connections
Aerica Shimizu Banks, Shiso Consulting: Aerica's expertise and thought partnership were invaluable to Sebeastian when he stepped into a new role leading external affairs for Arnold Ventures. She worked closely with his team to refine our engagement strategy and craft high impact events that advanced our policy priorities and enhanced the organization’s brand in Washington. (Listen to Aerica on Literal Humans share more on her thinking of how to Bring Intersectional Equity into Tech and Policy)
Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute – As a forever fan of adrienne marie brown and one of her books, Emergent Strategy, have to include their beautiful work for transformative convenings
To work with Sebastian, email sdpjohnson@gmail.com with the subject line “Helia Help” to learn more about his work and opportunities to collaborate.
About the Library Contributor
I've seen first hand how Sebastian brings together people who might never otherwise connect, creating spaces where genuine relationships and meaningful action happen simultaneously. What I appreciate most is that his approach is both strategic and deeply human.
Sebastian has led convenings across the social sector, including as leader of the Center for Lived Experience at Think of Us and as the Vice President of External Affairs at Arnold Ventures.
Sebastian conferring with his boss, Aneesa (age 3)
This article comes from a coffee chat with Sebastian in May 2025. We've learned the most from doing and from talking with other doers willing to share their wisdom. We share these stories in the Helia Library because we don't need to start from blank pages or do it all alone.*
As always, take what's helpful, leave what's not, and make it your own.
